Today I am swallowing razor blades

Naked - Healing the narcissist's daughter launched out on tuesday. I've had many messages of hope you had a fab day.

The day went like this.

Dog to the vet - she has a wart.

Bathed the dogs and cut their nails - both of which they hate.

Had a panic when ingram sparks said they were delayed publishing it.

Went into town and took a copy of Naked and left it with the new indie bookshop called Papermoon to include it in their local authors section.

Went into Waterstones and spoke to a manager who said he couldn't see why they wouldn't put a copy of their shelf - looked it up and it said not published yet - bloody ingram sparks - gutted and hope they will have a second look - everything crossed, including my eyes. 👀

Had a coffee and a patatas de nata - my fav little cake. 

6pm 50 mintues on zoom with some friends, family and supporters talked about the book, the process and of course cried.

Had notes of apology from people who didn't come.

Had notes from people saying it was a beautiful 50 mintues.

Went out to dinner and then bed. 

Woke up wednesday feeling deflated and tearful - this is nearly 3 years of work and writing it is the easy part. 

Where to go now❓ 

How to grow something out of it❓ 

Many questions have arisen since Tuesday.

What feels right next❓ 

Would it be ok to just be an artist and writer❓ 

I had advise 

"You should be on every narcissistic forum on FB engaging with people and saying this book will help you‼️" 

"You need to create containers‼️" 

"You need to redesign everything, follow the right people and create conversations with instagrammers‼️" 

"You need to get into conversation with book reviewers, follow them and butter them up‼️" 

"Organise your days‼️" 

"Write a plan‼️" 

"Figure out what you want‼️" 

"What do you think your soul purpose is⁉️"........ etc etc

No one said "BREATHE Take a break" including my own head. Today I woke up with a stinking dribbly nose and razor blades in my throat and I am exhausted and cold. 

It's been an emotional week - an important friendship ending after a week of being an uber driver to people who sat in the back, a collapse of comfort zones, a rejig to doing things on my own, thanking the people who turned up for me with deep humble gratitude, tears, hopes, optimism and nerves. Letting go time and again.... finding the quiet inside me time and again.... and sometimes finding anger.

Noticing my defaults.  

Sitting with the questions. 

Georgia

x

 http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1068437235